The Reality of Breakups

As you all already know since I have been boring you with posts about it, I have been watching the TV serial Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai. The show talks about the teenage love story of Sameer and Naina, Sameer starts getting close to Naina to win a bet and eventually realises that it is true love. He loses Naina when she finds about the bet.

Now the serial is at a stage where he is trying to win Naina back. The serial shows the real heartbreaking reality of breakups and how it affects the mind and heart. When Naina comes to know about the bet, she is an emotional wreck. Her anger, her pain will sear your heart. The way it is shown in the serial – nothing is held back. It is a complete raw depiction of what someone goes through when they are betrayed in love.

Nowadays, in movies and TV serials, it is shown that people move one easily after breakups which is not the truth in reality. That’s why love has become a very casual term and just a four letter word. This serial will show the harsh reality of the pain of breakups. It will shatter your heart, make you cry and realise how terribly painful breakups are. The youth of today need to watch this show. The transformation that happens in Sameer when he realises that he broke the heart of a girl who completely and unflinchingly loved him has to be seen. He can’t forgive himself. He has a strained relationship with his mother and he realises the truth of his mother’s words that he is not capable of maintaining any relationship. This completely changes him as a person.

Naina comes from a very conservative family where the norms are very strict for girls. But she is so much in pain and shock that she is beyond caring. She stops talking, eating, fights with all her cousins and is completely changed. She is eventually hospitalised and there her family shows her so much love and care that it is at that point that she realises that she is not only hurting herself but the people who love her too. At that point in time, she decides to put the Sameer chapter behind her, start smiling again and look happy for the sake of her family and concentrate on her studies.

What is our hero Sameer doing in the meantime? After losing Naina, he is completely quiet for the next few days. When Naina confesses her love to him, he is about to tell her the truth before he expresses his feelings to her. But the guys with whom he had kept the bet come and reveal everything to her before he can say anything. Naina confronts him and he is left speechless. She starts withdrawing from him. Unable to face her, he walks off. His close friends, Munna and Pandit, try to tell Naina that this isn’t true but seeing Sameer walk off, they follow him. What is the effect on Sameer? He goes completely quiet for two days, is unable to live with the guilt of what he has done and Naina’s tear filled eyes keep appearing in front of him.

Eventually, unable to bear it any more, he decides to ask Naina for forgiveness when he meets her at school next. When he sees her at school, Naina greets him with a big smile saying Hi Sameer, He is completely confused. He says,” I am sorry, Naina.” She asks – what for? He tries to bring up the topic. She says – I have no idea what you are talking about. She says – see you later, bye and walks off. That’s when Sameer realises that this isn’t going to be easy as she has cut him off emotionally. He realises that as easily as he had won Naina’s love, it will be equally difficult to win her love and trust again.

He makes numerous efforts but she is always smiling and normal with him and refuses to acknowledge that anything had happened between them, except for one scene where he corners her in school to say sorry. You have to see that scene to realise how amazing the serial is and what awesome performers the two actors are. The words that Naina says to him, the harsh truth that she puts in front of him hits him in the guts, he is unable to face this changed Naina but is determined to win her back, no matter what happens and how much ever time and effort it may take.

With this determination, I am completely sure he eventually will. But it is terribly painful to see both of them in so much pain. Now for the scene that I am referring to. I could not get the scene that I am referring to separately. I am including the link to the episode where he tries to apologise to her and how she responds to him. Do see it if you can. It is a beautifully made scene.

http://www.sonyliv.com/details/episodes/5695772025001/29-December-2017—Yeh-Un-Dinon-Ki-Baat-Hai

 

 

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The Book that influenced me most in 2017


Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

I am an avid reader and am mostly never without a book in my hands. Reading is my pleasure, stress-reliever and a source of great happiness to me. Hence, I don’t like to set a target of the number of books that I will read. That takes away the pleasure of reading for me and makes it a task instead of something that I enjoy.

2017 was a very eventful year for me as far as reading was concerned. I was introduced to a lot of genres and different types of books, thanks to a book group I am in on Facebook. It has really broadened my horizons and made reading even more fun and interesting for me.

The latest Indispire topic #Books2017 is a topic I had to write on. I have been introduced to an author I had never read earlier – Kristin Hannah. She is an American author who has won many awards for her books. A lot of her books revolve around the incidents that happened during World War II. The book written by her that really had a deep impact on my mind and affected me profoundly was Winter Garden.

Winter Garden

Winter Garden

The story starts with telling you about two sisters who are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. One stays at home to take care of her children and the family apple orchard and the other is a famous photo journalist, travelling all over the world. The two sisters are almost estranged from each other due to a very strained childhood with an emotionally unavailable mother, even though they had a very loving father.

The two women come together again when their beloved father falls ill and face their cold and unapproachable mother(Anya) again. The only connection that they have with their mother is a Russian fairy tale that she told her daughters at night sometimes, though always incomplete. On his deathbed, the father extracts a promise from their mother that the fairy tale will be told till the end this time. With this begins the journey into Anya’s past in Leningrad during the World War, five decades ago.

The fairy tale will tell you all – who Anya was, what she experienced in life, the truth behind her cold behaviour. You will be introduced to the completely raw, exposed face of Anna. The story will have you crying, break your heart, but don’t stop reading it. The end of the story is totally worth it. It will surprise you, warm your heart and make you cry again. This book is a must must read. This book was definitely my best read of 2017.

A TV Character I love!

When I first started watching this TV serial, I never thought that it would have so much of an impact on me. I just started watching it as a sweet, simple show that was so different from the trash that we see on TV nowadays. The character who really touches my heart is not someone I had expected would, nor would anyone else I think. He is Sameer from Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai.

He is shown as a spoilt, rich boy who thinks he owns the world and everything in it because he comes from a rich family. He is also very good looking, so he has people swooning over him. With a combination of money and good looks, he is the hot favourite of everyone in school and everyone wants to be known as his friend. He only has two close friends in school. But he lets everyone think that they are close to him because he enjoys the attention. This was when the serial started.

But as the serial progressed, different layers began to be revealed of this spoilt boy and suddenly we realize, he is all of us. We hide our real self behind layers of arrogance, don’t care attitude, always pretend we are happy even if we aren’t because we are afraid of revealing our real selves to everyone and show our vulnerable side.

Sameer becomes friends with the female lead in the show, Naina, to fulfill a bet. Naina is a sweet, charming girl next door and definitely not the kind of girl that the flamboyant Sameer can imagine falling in love with. But he has entered into a bet with his friends that he will make Naina fall in love with him. He starts wooing her and slowly this seemingly simple girl starts to unravel this flamboyant boy and we are introduced to the sensitive, caring Sameer that he himself doesn’t know(or remember) as he has hidden that side of his behind layers to protect himself from being hurt by the world. She believes and sees the good in him when he himself can’t till he is completely exposed in front of himself and us as the wonderful person he is. Of course, he falls in love with Naina but realizes it too late and loses her.

We all have a Sameer in us who acts strong, uncaring, covers himself/herself behind layers for self protection, but is like soft clay in the hands of the right person. We think that the world will judge us if we reveal our real selves, so we keep a mask on our face for other people. Also, just like Sameer, many times we let our ego get the better of ourselves and set out to hurt someone or belittle them, take revenge to satisfy our false ego. Just like Sameer realised his love for Naina too late, we realise the value of something really good in our life only after we lose it.

He is a character I really identify and this was a realization that hit me yesterday. Of all the different characters in the serial, it is this supposedly black sheep of the family that has touched a chord with me and has suddenly become my favourite character in the serial as he is surprised at the decent human being inside him who is revealed to him by this simple girl. I am now waiting eagerly to see how he wins her love again and become the person he deserves to be before the world ingrained in him the feeling of being unworthy.

A Painful part of Indian History – Jalianwala Bagh

There isn’t one Indian whose heart doesn’t ache on hearing the name Jalianwala Bagh. For those who aren’t aware, here is the history behind Jalianwala Bagh in brief. General Dyer had heard about something major planned by the Indian freedom fighters. Punjab celebrates Baisakhi on 13th April. People had come together to celebrate Baisakhi at Jalianwala Bagh. General Dyer arrived there with the British Indian army and ordered firing at the people congregated there without looking into the agenda of the meeting. Innocent men, women and small children were shot at with machine guns. Many people jumped into the well there to save themselves. While British sources say that approximately 379 died with 1,100 wounded, the real estimate is said to be 1,500 people injured and approximately 1,000 people dead. This place has been turned into a memorial for those who lost their lives on that day.

When I visited Jalianwala Bagh, I was really appalled to see that people treat it as a picnic spot, taking selfies and picnicking there. It is not a picnic spot. Where is our sensitivity? Some pictures of the memorial.

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Names of the people who died there.

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The entry from where firing was done, leaving people with no escape route.

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The Memorial.

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The well in which people jumped in to save themselves. 120 dead bodies were extracted from the well.

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The Joy of Giving!

Gift

While I love to shop for myself and buy nice things, the biggest satisfaction I get is from giving to people. It brings me happiness, peace and contentment. I don’t dedicate any special day for giving. I try to make it an everyday habit. Sometimes, I’ll pay a rickshaw driver Rs. 10 extra just to bring a smile on his face, sometimes I’ll feed street kids the food that they ask for. Sometimes I’ll help an old person or a young child cross the road – that is also a form of giving for me. I love to send gifts to my friends and see the smile of happiness on their face.

Giving to people should be something that we follow everyday. It shouldn’t be done on any one special day only dedicated to someone. Make it an everyday habit. Give a smile to a sad looking stranger, compliment a woman on her outfit and watch her confidence soar, thank a man who makes way for you and even better ( this goes especially for us women) – don’t expect a man to make way for you always, hold the door open for you or show you courtesy. Instead, do it sometimes for a man, it can even be a stranger. They will feel happy because rarely do they get to experience such gestures.

Make giving and caring for people an everyday habit. You don’t need any other mood booster or stress relieving activities!

This post is written to participate in the #DaanUtsav Initiative on Indiblogger.

A Place to Revisit!

This post is written as a part of Indispire Edition # 175 – Share about any place that you would love to revisit. What makes the place special? #TimeToRevisit

From a very young age, I have been passionate about travelling with a list of many dream destinations. The love for travelling comes from my army background and frequent transfers. The place that topped the list of my dream destinations is Paris. So it was a dream come true when in 2008, my dad said that we will go on a holiday to Paris. I was ecstatic and on Cloud Nine. I made all the preparations, we applied for a visa and got it quite easily. My brother was a frequent traveller all over the world for work purposes. We were travelling in April and we checked with him if we need to carry warm clothes. He advised us to carry light woollens. So we were all set and left in April 2008.

On the day that we landed in Paris, it snowed heavily and the temperature dropped drastically to 3 degrees centigrade. I was carrying a very light jacket as were my parents. We all got exposed to the cold but I was the only one who got a terrible viral fever attack. I was sightseeing in Paris with a fever of 103 degrees, sometimes touching 104 degrees. I was at a loss at how to buy medicines as the employees at the pharmacies there only spoke and understood French. We were strolling in Paris one day and we came across an Indian restaurant. I had been dying for some Masala chai(we all know how good that tastes in cold and fever). I walked into the restaurant with mom and we started chatting with the owner. We ordered food and very hestitantly I asked if I could get some adrak chai(Ginger Tea) as I have a cold. He personally made it for me and henceforth, whenever I visited his restaurant, my ginger tea would be ready. I will never forget his kindness and warm hospitality. The restaurant was quite close to our hotel.

Because of my sickness, I could not enjoy my time at Paris at all. It is all a hazy blur. My worst regret is when we went to see the cabaret at Moulin Rouge. I took a heavy dose of medicine so that I could enjoy the show. It had a different adverse effect on me and the medicines made me drowsy and I slept through the show.

So the place that I really want to revisit in good health and good weather is Paris. I really hope I get to see Paris again in my lifetime. Here is a picture of Eiffel Tower at night that i took with my mom standing in front of it. You can gauge the size of Eiffel Tower by comparing it with the size of people standing under and in front of it.

The Saga of the Under Attack Feminist

When I was a little girl, my grandmother would keep teaching me about everything a girl should be – a girl should be softspoken, she should be modest, she should not have strong opinions and views, she should be extremely tolerant whatever the circumstances and protesting against injustice, what’s that(she still is the most beautiful memory of my childhood days because of the lovely summer memories she created for us). And today when she is no more and I am the exact antithesis of whatever she taught me, she must be squirming or finally she is proud of me?

On one side, I had my grandmother moulding me into her idea of a perfect woman(or wife) and on the other side I had my dad bringing me up to be a strong, self respecting woman who is the epitome of kindness but God help you if you mess with her. I guess dad’s upbringing had a heavier influence than my grandmother’s.

So I grew up to be a strong minded woman who knew what she wants in most things life and could not compromise on the things that most girls are asked to compromise on. In today’s 21st Century, if you are a woman with clear views and thoughts and if you set very clear standards for yourself, you are labelled a Feminist with a screwed up mouth making it sound like a dirty word. If you stand up for your rights and don’t let people mess with you or cross the lines, what are you? Yes, you guessed it right! The dirty word again.

I have been quite used to people calling me a feminist with their nose turned up like they have some dirty smell right under their nose. And I can smell those kind of people from far away. But then some people surprise(shock) you too. They preach about being modern, free thinking, broad minded and believing in equality. They gain your respect and you are truly impressed that here is the WOMAN/MAN of today. And one day they show you your true colours!

A few days back, I shared an article condemning the men who gang raped a woman who was out of her house in the night with her baby. She was in the auto when they threw the baby out of the auto and took the woman to a secluded area and gang raped her. Needless to say, the baby passed away.

Deeply saddened by the crime, I shared a sketch of the culprits that was released with a statement hoping that they are arrested. Most of the people had sad or angry reactions to what I shared.

Then a friend of mine totally opened my eyes to her. Till then, she had always come across to as someone who believed in the emancipation of women. But the truth was revealed to me that day. Her comment – While I deeply sympathize with her, I think she is at fault because she shouldn’t have gone out in the night alone with her baby especially since one truck driver had already tried to molest her. I asked her – how can you even say that? Does she even have to explain why she stepped out of her house or feel guilty about it? She says I agree with you and women’s freedom shouldn’t be restricted. I said – good, then let’s stick to that and not make statements like she shouldn’t have stepped out.

Then she messaged me and started writing a long saga about her ex-husband used to beat her up, yet she never left the house etc etc. I ignored her messages because there was no way I could justify her sentence to myself. Then two days later, she was probably miffed that I ignored her. So she messages me and says that I am far removed from reality and she labelled me as a ‘bra burning feminist’. I mustered up all my dignity and responded – I don’t wish to discuss this with you. Thanks.

So here is a modern 21st Century woman who escaped an abusive marriage with a daughter of her own and is now married to a wonderful loving man for which I am truly happy for her. Instead of fighting stereotypes and working towards a safe world where her daughter can move about freely, she is feeding the dangerous stereotypes where a man can strut about at any time of the day or night thinking that all women are things to be used and abused while women should lock themselves inside four walls to keep themselves from tempting the uncontrollable man. The bra-burning feminist rests her case here!!

My Life as Written by Myself!

When I was 14 years old, I got it into my head that I wanted to be a journalist. I was very keen on it and was working towards that goal by honing my English skills and writing. But life has its own twists and turns.

My father was an army officer and he didn’t have a very high salary. My brother and I are just one year and nine months apart with him being older than I am. He went into Engineering college and I was in 11th standard that time. When I passed out of 12th, he was in 2nd Year of Engineering. There was no way my parents could afford to send us both to college at the same time. He was living in a hostel and I would have to also as we were in Shillong at that time and I couldn’t join college there. So I had to settle for a correspondence course for my Graduation. I was terribly upset.

Then we came to Mumbai and by then I was in third year of my graduation. So there was no point in my joining college at that time. It was at this time that I started drifting in life. Because of this educational setback, I lost the courage to pursue Journalism. I started working in a call center and worked in this field for many years.

At the back of mind, there was a new dream that had started forming. I wanted to get into being a homebaker. But I lacked the courage to convince my parents because at that time people had very set views about jobs and careers. This was in the late 90’s. I kept working in different jobs and now I have a PostGraduate Degree in PR and I even worked in that field for sometime. But my dream of being a homebaker started getting stronger.

After a major setback in my company, I eventually decided to quit and turn Homebaker. I was past the age of 30 when I took this decision. It took sometime to convince my parents. I did it gradually over a few months.

If I were the Writer of my life story, I’d go back to the time when I finished my Graduation and pursue my dream of being a Homebaker and Chocolatier(my special expertise).

This post is written for the IndiSpire topic on Indiblogger – ‘If you were the writer of your own story – Your Life. How would you have altered it? #choice